March 2011
120 posts
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My Dad is busy working at the home office.
Ryan: Who is the suave black man you are friends with on Facebook?
Dad: Oh, that's Curtis.
Ryan: Why does it smell like rodents in here?
Dad: . . .
Ryan: Or like a pet store?
I fell into a serious drunken slumber. It’s 3:50AM and I’m wide awake. I’m so refreshed right now. It’s like I had a super nap.
So much good shit on TV too. Watching X-men Evolutions and after that Rugrats.
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13 Great Musical Moments in Wes Anderson Movies... →
cussyeah-wesanderson:
“Anderson has infused music into his productions so deftly that one seems naked without the other, sometimes to the point where once experienced in conjunction, it’s nearly impossible to extricate the pairing.”
These are some of the best scenes of Wes Anderson’s movies. His use of music and cinematography has a way of bringing out my emotions like no other film...
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I am severely tipsy. Should I make a video?
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My Dad and sister were watching Goodfellas. . .
… when it hit me. I would so join the mafia if I was more Italian. Being in the mafia gets you all kinds of neat things:
Money
Women
Cool Cars
Respect
Meatballs
One of those things I listed I get on a regular basis on pasta night. I want it to be pasta night EVERY night!
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So an Egyptian Cobra broke out of the Bronx Zoo. →
And the muthafuckin’ snake has a muthafuckin’ twitter account.
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I didn’t want my alarm to wake me up this morning. So I woke myself up today at 5:30AM to shut off my alarm, which was set for 8:00AM.
Umm… Yeah.
My mom is having a jewelery party. I am faced with a dilemma. There are a bunch of ladies doing lady things downstairs. But there is also a ton of food.
I’m at a loss.
Damn. Now I’m tired drunk.
Flip Cup!
Jello. Not hello
My cousin’s Hello shots are fucking loaded. I’ve had 4.
I just reached into my back pocket and found my flask. Completely forgot that I had it. Okay, okay. Time to go to bed.
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Be prepared.
I know. I know. I have been lacking on the posts. Between actually having stuff to do and passing out for hours in my room, I haven’t really been on the computer.
BUT!
I will be partying tonight so expect some drunken posts. Maybe even some drunken pictures if I can figure out how to do that.
You know how I do.
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mymagicmurderbag:
I’m afraid to make a post. Will it disappear? I don’t know. Let’s see.
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I went out to dinner with my cousins and my cocktail was garnished with a blue whale squeaky toy.
The drink tasted like candy. But I felt none of the usual effects of alcohol despite the amount of alcohol in it. Could it be that I am developing a tolerance?! Probably not. All the cheese fries I ate probably soaked it all up.
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I’m wondering how embarrassed I would be if I posted a picture of the outfit I’m in.
Let’s just say there is much man thigh involved. I’d probably lose followers.
I’ve deemed it necessary to clean out my closet pant-less. As in I have no pants on. That way I can try on all my old jeans.
Its called being efficient.
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I got a letter asking for a reply back. The part that you return says:
“Detach and moisten here when returning.”
Pretty thorough instruction. But I’m still confused.
What do I moisten it with?
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The Large Hadron Collider could be the World's... →
I always thought they would be a lot smaller. Like the size of a telephone booth.
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I wish. . .
that I could flirt with girls my age as easily as I flirt with the old ladies I work with.
Hell, I’ve friggin’ danced for Lucille.
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Rita’s Lemon Misto with vodka. My parent’s idea. Looks like I’ll be drinking tonight.
Going to see the Super Moon.
My family and I are heading to the island to check it out.
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lifeinbflat:
This Time Tomorrow - The Kinks
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Super Moon!!!
My family and I will be heading to the beach to check out what this is all about. Supposedly, the moon is gonna be close enough to spit on. I’m just hoping that it’s gravitational pull doesn’t suck up the ocean. That’s how this stuff works right?
(All kidding aside, I’m so friggin’ excited to see this. I’m a major astronomy nerd).
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Spider-Man Villain? THE LIZARD!!! →
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That satisfied feeling you get after giving an...
Riding my ass and flashing your lights isn’t going to make me go any faster when we are stuck if traffic. Calm yourself.
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Today, I saw a priest sneeze. I said, “Bless you.” Will that negate all my atheist doings?
